Afraid of the dark

[Ste7e]

Day #9
Woke up very early today with a serious DGAF attitude.
Which is a good thing I am slowly regaining my manhood.
By posting a bunch here yesterday I could see my NGS tendencies whether that came across in my posts or not.
NGS is just me being lazy its comfortable and women eventually don't respect it.
I think I really played up the NGS because I was such a bad person when I was drinking 10 years ago that I wanted to change that but I went to far with it and became a doormat and when I was tired of being a doormat with no knowledge how to detach with love I became just straight up confrontational. It is hard for me to stay in the middle I am an extremes person which I really need to get over.
Also writing about my WAWs shortcomings helped to break something loose in my brain that maybe I wasn't that satisfied in the MR either and was just sweeping things under the rug or flat out ignoring them which began to fester and make me frustrated.

So what I am saying is that today is the first day I felt that I will be OK without WAW. Do I still want her back yeah sure but I don't need her back.

Just noticed that I had to go back and change every statement I made in this post because I led them all off with "I guess I" and that kind of indirect nonsense needs to go bye bye.