I think one of the boundaries that you can establish is complete transparency. If she has nothing to hide she should have no problem agreeing with that. This will also tell you if your lie detector is broken or not. Also, her agreeing to complete transparency and you using it to snoop are two different things. If she agrees it will always be in your rights to do, but since she agrees to it likely you won't have to. If she balks that is a red flag.
Great advice, Steve. I will definitely demand transparency. Once she is back and we have contact again, I am going to ask her for proof of the conversation she supposedly had about ending it. And proof of when they last had contact. I agree this will really help set my gut feelings straight. Even thinking about it helps build suspicion because my W has always been very resistant to prying into her personal space. It is hard to imagine her just agreeing to show me messages, etc. But if she balks, you're spot on, all the alarms will be going off.
Ah this is good info. So you might want to tread lightly here. My W is the same way, she has always felt like her privacy was invaded if I asked to look through her phone. Of course, those that don't know us might say "well maybe she always has had something to hide". However, there are people that have hangups about this and you need to be sensitive to those hangups.
However, she needs to understand how you can't be sure of anything she says, since cheaters always lie, without proof.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
