I think one of the boundaries that you can establish is complete transparency. If she has nothing to hide she should have no problem agreeing with that. This will also tell you if your lie detector is broken or not. Also, her agreeing to complete transparency and you using it to snoop are two different things. If she agrees it will always be in your rights to do, but since she agrees to it likely you won't have to. If she balks that is a red flag.
Great advice, Steve. I will definitely demand transparency. Once she is back and we have contact again, I am going to ask her for proof of the conversation she supposedly had about ending it. And proof of when they last had contact. I agree this will really help set my gut feelings straight. Even thinking about it helps build suspicion because my W has always been very resistant to prying into her personal space. It is hard to imagine her just agreeing to show me messages, etc. But if she balks, you're spot on, all the alarms will be going off.
M: 26 W: 26 M: 1.5 T: 3 No kids BD: 31 March 2018
W's affair began: 23 March 2018 Affair confirmed: 18 April 2018 Confrontation/claims she ended A: 14 May 2018 Ended in-house separation: July 2018
