Affair, no feelings...is there hope? IV

[SteveLW]

I think one of the boundaries that you can establish is complete transparency. If she has nothing to hide she should have no problem agreeing with that. This will also tell you if your lie detector is broken or not. Also, her agreeing to complete transparency and you using it to snoop are two different things. If she agrees it will always be in your rights to do, but since she agrees to it likely you won't have to. If she balks that is a red flag.