Affair, no feelings...is there hope? IV

[44tries]

I will put my two cents in... I am disappointed that you had the conversation/the reveal over the phone... Why? Because you put your foot down and said you wanted to have it face-to-face... She disregarded you and pushed for her way... And you gave in... Instead of working on detaching (you are not detached, no matter what you try to tell yourself) you are engaging with her... You did not put into practice what it is to be a man with balls, and she did not get the consequence of going too far... Neither of you are taking this precious gift of space and time and using it to your advantage... Every time you communicate with her, you take away from your opportunity to become that man only a fool would leave...

Honestly, I don't know what else to tell you... All I have is CUT THE CONTACT! ENOUGH... MY gawd, see if you can live through one entire day without her... I promise you, you will not die! You are a grown man, not a baby who needs milk from his mommy... You see? You don't need her to survive... But if you want her, you MUST DETACH... otherwise, you will surely face the same fate as Tate... A wife who files while you are still fully stuck on her...

--artista

Artista, I'm sorry I disappointed you and I know I had a lapse in strength. I completely understand your point about communicating with her costing opportunities to grow.

I have no problem living one day without her...I get it, I hope I have not given the impression I am arguing about the contact. I am clear, and have told her I want all the time until she returns.

I mentioned before that after the confrontation I said I needed time but didn't give a timeline. I didn't hear anything from her most of the day yesterday until the evening and then she tried to reach out. She called about the banking password (I won't text passwords). She tried to make small talk; I could tell she was trying to be extremely nice and then she sent out a feeler about traveling for Memorial Day. I shut it down and told her we aren't talking about anything like that until she gets home. She texted me after we hung up and said "It was nice to talk to you." It was then that I told her I want the rest of the time until she returns (which is looking like Friday, maybe Saturday) and am going silent. Yes, it is hard, but I am on board, okay? No contact. Today has been fine.


Now, aside from GAL, I am just trying to prepare for what she will try when she gets back. I feel like this is going to be very new territory and I hope to talk to Sandi (and anyone else with input) more about boundaries. I'm a little at a loss for what to expect going forward. On one hand, I'm trying not to analyze or predict anything, but on the other I feel I need to be prepared and am not.

I also have another problem. I believe my W. I know, I know, she's likely a liar. She only cares about herself and I am as suspicious as I could be. If I had to bet money, I am on board with all of you, I would do the logical thing and bet she is lying. The problem is my gut instinct is not agreeing. What do I do about that? Just try to ignore it? This whole time, my gut instinct has been congruent with the truth. I've known about the A, deep down, since day 1. I've known when she lies. Now, I'm worried my detector is broken.