I disagree, it didn't blow up at all. The only thing that you let get away from you was your expectations. I remember early on after BD doing things with my ex and thinking that things were better and maybe she had even changed her mind, but then she'd say something to remind me that no, she really was done and it was over. It hurts to hear but just keep in mind that's how she feels NOW. That could change in a few months or a year. But for now she's resolute that leaving is the right thing to do. She will still enjoy family time, they all love their cake-eating. But nothing has changed for her. You did not really do anything wrong, the DB coaches are fond of saying that you should try to "show her what she will miss". Just be careful not to turn it into temp checking or pursuit. Keep stuff like that kid-focused. But when she threw the jab out about dating college guys (at 44 all I can say is "good luck with that") you should have just let it roll off your back. If things get a little chummy she will say stuff like that just to remind you of the true state of things.
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Is there any hope???
Absolutely, just not on the timeline you want. You want to put things "back to normal" right away, but that's just not going to happen. She won't change her views on you and the M for months or maybe even years.
