Zodiac Sign Point to... (WAW)

[Salazar]

Ok, time for an actual update. Since BD, one of the things that W has mentioned many times is that she felt physically rejected. I would turn her down for a hug when she wanted one. When we were working at my coworkers house, she came over to where I was standing and tried to make out. Although we were alone in the house, I felt very uncomfortable so did not reciprocate. She did not mention anything then, but W has since said that was her "final test" and she "swore to herself that I would never be given the opportunity to reject her again".

W has said she feels completely shut off physically, almost like she was sexually abused (she has never been, by me or otherwise).


Because I was working several jobs, 99% of the household tasks fell to her, including things that are considering the more mescaline tasks (lawn work, trash duty, etc). She grew to resent this, but I did not realize it until it was too late. I was so drained by the time that I got home, I would use computer games as a way to unwind after coming home. In hindsight, I was definitely addicted to the games and have not played them in over 5 months.


When I came back from my 2 weeks away, she volunteered to pick me up from the airport. As I have historically been less aggressive (maybe less masculine?) in my pursuit of her, I thought I would be more aggressive. Shortly after getting back to the house, she was in the kitchen with her back to me. I noticed her freshly styled hair, complimented it, and then said something like, "I have half a mind to make out with you right here". She shrugged it off, and went in the next room to lay down for a nap. She got up a few hours later and went out for the rest of the afternoon, alone. I dialed back the aggressiveness after that point. She went back home the next day.

Shortly after, she went out and bought a very nice kayak for herself.

A few weeks later, we had our community yardsale. She reached out to me to ask if I signed up and she said she would come up and help. She did and we had a nice day. During my previous few visits with her, I would ask to go out with her (in her Jeep) or Kayaking with her, but she always turned me down, saying it was something that she just liked to do alone. Eventually she took her dad both Kayaking and on a Jeep ride, so that upset me a bit, but I contained myself.

I decided that I would go out and by a kayak and surprise her with it. Part of my 180 to be more spontaneous. Given that I drive a very small car, I ended up buying an inflatable tandem kayak. After our yardsale, I suggested that we go and she was partially onboard until she realized it was tandem... and inflatable. She then ended up being over the idea and shortly after, decided to go to her condo.

Just before leaving, we had a 20 minute R talk, where she basically said that she was having a very hard time forgiving me for the rejection (previously she said there was nothing to forgive me for). About 5 months or so ago, just after BD, she told me she was in no hurry to get a divorce, she just wanted time. I brought that back up and basically said, I don't understand. You don't want to divorce, but I feel like you are making no effort to spend time with me or work on anything. We parted ways.

The very next day, she went out, bought me a nice kayak of my own (the same as hers) and drove all the way back up to my house and we went out and took them both out. We had a great day, she stayed the night (couch), the next day I took off work early and we went to the shooting range (one of her new passions). Again, we had a nice day. That evening, she brought up the idea that she was considering moving back to our home. She said that she felt overwhelmed by the amount of projects in our house that still needed to be done and that caused her to do nothing. I suggested that we were now in a place that we can finish everything or even pick a new house and start fresh. She seemed like that idea and we spent a few hours looking at houses online.

She had to leave the next day while I was at work, so we didnt talk until she texted me later that night. Her tone did a 180 and she said she was having trouble being comfortable around me and that the condo is where she started to heal and that's where she wants to remain.