Affair, no feelings...is there hope? IV

[44tries]

44, you're getting some really great advice, especially from Sandi and Artista. I'm just going to say that I wholly approve of what they are advising you on how to deal with your WW. If you read other threads on these forums just please keep in mind that your sitch is different than most, you're dealing with the worst kind of lying, rebellious, immature, controlling and manipulative WW. The advice we offer others does not apply to you.

Yours is a textbook case for going well and truly dark and I'm not sure why you haven't done it yet. Don't believe ANYTHING coming out of your W's mouth. She's lying about just kissing OM, she's lying about being worried about you, she's lying about anything and everything. What is the use of talking to her if nothing but lies stacked on lies comes out of her mouth? There is no point. You get nothing from it, she gets nothing from it, your relationship gets nothing. SO STOP!!!! Time to get off the roller coaster.

I think at some point she'll hit rock bottom and then she may come to you with genuine humility, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. She may very well feign humility to bring you back under control so just expect it and be VERY wary. Any apparent attempt on her part to pull you into recon should be met with this response from you: "I don't know what I want, I have a lot of thinking to do and I think it would be best if we remained separated and out of contact for a while."

Erm...I'm getting a little bit turned around because I get very different vibes from your post and Sandi's, but you said you were agreeing with her advice. It seems Sandi is operating under the assumption that she was being genuine but remains very self-centered and you're operating under the assumption that she is completely full of sh!t. Sandi is talking about what to do if we work on the MR and you are saying I should be completely going out of contact (maybe you are just meaning while she is gone?).

I think in both cases I am nowhere near trusting her, but these still feel like two very different sets of advice.