Hanging On (Saying ILY Pt. 3)

[mtb1981]

Did a lot of thinking last night, and I thought I was to the point of filing for D today. Now I am having second thoughts. I understand this is probably normal. W has become someone that I don't want to be with. Having an A, making poor decisions, and being a crappy parent. My reasons for wanting to file dealt with those 3 issues. I felt that if I filed, I would be protecting myself from any bad financial decisions she makes, have a better chance of having custody of the kids (she is basically nonexistent right now and I believe it would be better for them to be with me), and why would I want to be with someone that is cheating on me...

Today the "what ifs" started creeping in. What if she can change? What if a true R can still happen? What if I'm making the wrong decision? Etc. Again, I know this is probably a common occurrence for LBS's, but filing for D is a really big deal. I took my MR and my vows very seriously. This has got to be one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make. I guess if I'm unsure about it, I shouldn't do it. But then again, I feel like it may be necessary to protect myself financially and the welfare of my kids...