Affair discovered

[STH17]

Steve85, I think you are right and I wish I said the things you wrote. I also probably should have recognized that I would be unable to speak with my wife like that and just stayed out of the kitchen entirely. The fact that she said those things at all caught me by surprise because I expected her to continue being cold and distant to me as she has increasingly been the last two weeks. The entire interaction I think just got added to her "this is why I want a divorce" mental log.

I think my withdrawal in the interaction was also influenced by some other thoughts I was having or feeling when she said those things. She had just bought the french press a month ago, and has been complaining about it recently saying the coffee was weak. So when she says she saw something better, I think "There she goes again, nothing's ever good enough for her and she wants to go buy something else new", which brings up feelings of how I think she feels about our entire relationship. And when she said there were ants, I felt defensive, expecting criticism or blame for there being ants in the house. So yeah, I think and feel a lot of things and blow opportunities for positive interaction.