OK, it is different if you don't want it. But your "there is no hope of it ever happening" is just not true. I know you are at a low point, but read sandi's rules again. I believe #37 is NEVER GIVE UP!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
