A year ago out of nowhere W gave me a shocking BD - she has been unhappy for YEARS, and she wanted a separation, and a divorce. We had bought our first home together six months back. A perfect home for our kids and us. Everything that we had dreamed of. We were both in good jobs and first time in our MR it seemed that we were going to be stable.
W started a new grad program which is very high energy with a lotta new people. She got very close to a guy who was also going through some MR troubles and had an EA - even though I don't think she recognizes it as such, it was definitely that. He made a move on her and kissed her, which she apparently rebuffed. Couple of other things that happened gave me a pause to actually believing that story.
We sold the house and moved into two places. She got a place right away and I stayed in the MR home till closing - which was hell. Kids were ripped apart. We agreed to 50/50 split. I was devastated. W gave me the same old story as we see here.
I started IC right away and GALing. Picked up climbing, started working out, and getting healthy.
It's a year from that event, and you can read my full journey in the threads above. I had a lot of falls, but I picked myself up. I temp checked W a few months after BD and it gave me clarity to as to what to do next, but it destroyed me in the process too - she flat out told me that there was no second chance and this was permanent.
I honestly know feel that I am emotionally and mentally stronger and grounded. I did not pursue, and focused on myself. I am not out of the woods by any means, but I am here standing tall with my integrity intact. I did not date as it seemed very premature and I am still not ready for that.
D is going to happen because I am going to file - not because I am giving up, but I am in a place where I know what I need from a partner and she doesn't bring that to the table as of now. She has also shown no sign of turning the ship around. I can file after end of June, and I will decide how to go about it then.
In the meantime, I also got two tats and getting inked again this week, with plans to complete my sleeve by the end of the year. I am looking good, and more importantly, feeling awesome and ladies have noticed. So, I know I am going to be more than good.
This will most likely be my last thread here. I will stay on to share my insights with noobs as needed.
Thanks again for everything to everyone. You folks saved my life.
