I remember how i was in early high school with boyfriends. At that age i wasnt really attached. It was like you get a crush on someone, and then that crush disappears for whatever reason. My parents werent the type to guide me through relationships. At that age, i probaly would have kept it a secret anyway.
In my teenage self absorption, i am sure i did not handle break ups well. I just wanted the person to go away cause i was done. I never cheated, but i did ghost.
Maybe thats how my ex is. His brain just functions at a lower level as mine did when i was much younger. That inability to empathize or care just isnt there for him. Not for me.
Maybe in the future he will look back and say, yeah that was wrong of me. I should have handled it differently. But nothing will make him really feel what i do cause its just not there. He wont feel regret or loss for me. I dont feel that for any of those high school boys. Just i wish i had been more mature with feelings and communications.
Now, its a bit different.. a relationship when your maybe 15 vs a marriage with kids. But i wonder if that lack of substance i experienced at that age is akin to what they experience.
And meanwhile i am heartbroken and rejected by soneone who really just doesnt care.
