Afraid of the dark

[Davide]

Can I ask a dumb question, what is the difference between a WAW and a WW? I know one is walk away wife and the other is wayward wife, but I'm still not 100% clear on what the difference is.

You definitely need to work on the detachment part. (so do I!) For as much as you GAL and don't pursue and do 180s it is clear that she still has an emotional hold over you. You are giving her that power to upset you, you can take it back. In my mind that is what detaching is all about.

I think you are right not to respond if you really don't need to. Do you feel like you need to go full NC in order to get enough distance to detach? If you do, then I think you need to do it. For me personally, the physical separation and distance helps, but I know that I need to interact with my W about certain things (our dog, moving back in, finances) and for me the key is just keeping the emotion out of it. I feel fortunate because I don't think my W is manipulative or angry or bitter, just absolutely confused. I have compassion for her journey, but can only control my own. I read all this passive-aggressive, or manipulative, or just nasty BS that so many wayward spouses pull, and I am thankful that I haven't had to deal with that.

You say that she slam dunks you at the end when you talk, what exactly do you mean? Is she putting you down or leading you on? Why react to that? She clearly has her own issues, and they are not about you. If she gets nasty just don't engage. Walk away if you have to.