Well i guess that didn't work. LH when was the D final? How you holding up? Are you mentally prepared to tell the kids? Do they have any idea? If my EW has experienced sadness she has not shown it to me. I always hoped and thought she would wake the F up but I have now accepted that it won't happen for quite some time if ever.
My EW was a marathon runner, I could never understand what she thought about while running for that long. What do you do to keep your mind occupied? Have you ever owned a motorcycle before? My step-dad always owned them when I was young, the seem so dangerous these days.
When do you think you will put yourself out there again?
Hopefully you are at peace. D day was rough for me emotionally, I remember feelingso defeated and emotionally drained. I can so vididly remember telling the kids. I supposed it is something you will never forget. When we sat them down they thought it was to tell them where our vacation was going to be. Needless to say they were shocked and our youngest asked if it was going to be forever. It crushed me.
Fast forward a year and everything has become a new norm. The girls are happy and adjusted which tells me that I did something right. I had them all day today as the EW didn't come get them until about an hour ago. Had flowers for her and got some gifts for her from the girls. Needless to say this has all become BAU.
You were a beacon of hope in my darkest days and I will be eternally grateful.
Dude you made me drop a tear for the first time in a long time.
Thatwhat is so great about this forum.
I just watched an episode of californiacation. I am always struck by how Hank looks feels about Karen. I didn't have that look and feel for my wife. I loved her but not in that way.
Maybe she could feel that and wants and needs more.
I am at peace because I am a believer in everything happens for a reason and nothing truly lasts forever. Someday we will know why. Just not right now.
I am still a work in progress and am just tryin to get a little better everyday.
Your a great man and a great father so do not ever lose sight of that.
I am just amazed at your fortitude LH - you being able to DB and just move on with life with your W basically still in your life like an-almost-wife, with the extracurricular activities to boot. I don't know how you did it man.
Not sure how I am going to feel when D comes around, but for some reason today I really felt like I wanted it to be over with. This D kinda needs to happen now because I am in a place where I need that as a last step to the MR chapter and I can continue on my path towards healing.
Trying to get a little better every day as well. Kids went with W today and they were excited about it, which made me happy as I never want them to think they have to side with either parent.
I am a bit behind some of my goals and I've realized that I am not putting my full 100% because I am afraid of failure. Part of it is also I am not believing in myself fully. So, that's my thing I am tackling right now and figuring out how to give everything to my work, personal goals, and just not worry about failure. Also looking at failure as a good thing because it is a learning experience.
However, I am not beating myself over the head about being behind my goals - more self compassion than I had before. But I am also thinking of all the goals that I have had amazing progress on to balance out what I haven't fully achieved yet. So, that's a victory too - having a positive mindset and getting up after falling down.
Ha! Well I seem to have that effect on the men around here. You, Nef and maybe some others! Hopefully I will have the same effect on the ladies
Thanks for the kind words you are a good man as well. I can tell that by how you have handled letting your W stay in the house. You don't talk about yourself too much but that shows the character that you have or that you are continuing to build.
Ah...Hank Moody. I used to have that feeling for my EW but I lost it along the way. We grew apart. Honestly though IMO Karen felt the same way about Hank but he just kept on fuching it up. I hate it but it happened and while I was in the middle of it I couldn't see the forest through the trees to recognize it before it was too late.
I will always love my EW. I don't want to be her erand boy and the guy she calls when her toilets are clogged but if [censored] hits the fan I will be there. Even though she is on her journey and we are no longer together I will be rooting for her from a distance.
Even though she is on her journey and we are no longer together I will be rooting for her from a distance.
That is such a great perspective. If it comes to that, I would love to get there with my W.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
M - Goals, no goals IMO as long as you are happy and content that is the most important thing.
You have been at this for a long time. You are probably more ready for D than you realize and probably more importantly ready for some closure. IMO you can DB your rear off but as long as you are technically still married it is hard to completely move on 100%. Maybe if you were doing this for years but in our timeframes.
