Thanks everyone! Yeah my plan for tomorrow is to keep all talk off the previous relationship. I feel we've had those convos the past two visits and we will just spend the night repeating ourselves. So I plan to steer convos away from that. I'll ask her about something current in her life and get her to talk about that.
The both of us sitting there another night for. 3 hours rehashing our shortcomings and failures in our marriage and apologizing to each other for our parts in the demise is useless now. I want to have fun with her again. I'm bringing a movie I know she loves that we used to enjoy together.
Again, this is all predicated on her not cancelling again. I'm not sold yet that this is really going to go down but we'll see in 24 hours whether I'm with her or posting here.
Thanks again everyone for your insight and thoughts!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Hi Steve! Well last night went very well again. We had a very good time. We had dinner at her place and I had brought some beer. We talked of course but it was all good things. She did bring up the marriage a few times but I was sure to keep those conversations light in tone.
After dinner we decided to have some beer and then she broke out some tequila. She said she likes it because it doesn't give her a hangover. I told her that's funny because that had been my drink of choice the past few years. She replied that she knew that. I asked how and she said people would tell her things I put on my FB so at some point the past couple years I must have mentioned tequila on my FB.
She slipped many times again calling me by my full name which was her "pet" name for me. I could tell at times she was acting like she used to when we were married in terms of our interactions. At one point in particular during the course of conversation about how her relationships she's had let her down I was a bit shocked that she mentioned that her lovers didn't compare to me. I jokingly told her that's just because she was spoiled with me LOL!
I brought over a concert video I had of our favorite band and she mentioned she wasn't able to see them live in concert again when she was in Florida...that she "couldn't and wasn't ready" to go to a show without me. Ironically I had gotten to a concert the day before and I told her I would take her. She asked me if I thought that was a good idea and seemed uncertain and I said well yeah why not. I told her I just got the tix and that I haven't even had a chance to ask anyone to go yet. I could tell she wanted to but was hesitant so I jokingly left it up in the air by saying I would just ask someone else. Then the subject changed to something else. I did let her borrow some other concert DVDs we used to watch because she was complaining how I had all the DVDs since we split and she didn't have any.So I left her a few DVDs to borrow.
Overall it was a really nice night and visit. Nothing romantic happened and she did mention how she is focusing on her new job and home. I got the sense she had no interest in dating so she's likely not seeing anyone.Aside from her slipping and using my pet name there wasn't anything overt in terms of talking R. Things are still pretty casual with us. One thing I forgot to do that I'm kicking myself for today was leave a banana sticker somewhere in her place! I purposely bought a banana yesterday and saved the sticker with the intention to stock it somewhere for her to find over the next couple days and I forgot!!! So disappointed in myself for that but I suppose I can just do it next time I'm over there.
So nothing heavy happened, nothing romantic, and perhaps it isn't supposed to happen yet this soon but I feel like it was a successful visit. What happens next is anyone's guess. I did just get a text from her as I'm typing this asking me if I got home safe. So I'll let her know all is well. Hopefully I handled things correctly...part of me wanted to just make a move on her but I think that would have ended badly...I just don't think we're there yet for that happen. I decided having more patience is a better idea. I think I'm in her head even more now, at least I hope I am. Just hoping I handled things right by not being aggressive yet. I just played it cool like I had no expectations of R or anything like that. I didn't think now was the time and didn't want to risk her locking herself in her castle again. I figured if I could get out of there while her drawbridge is left down that that was best.
Thoughts?
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Oh and one other thing we did that I forgot to mention was record a video for hwr sister to say hi. She told me she told her sis that we were hanging out tonight and it would be cool to send a video to her of us to say hello. I was pretty close with her sister so that was nice.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I think your choice to hold back on any romantic moves was wise... When is the concert? If there is time, hold off on inviting any one else... See if exW mentions it... If she does, invite her again... If she doesn't bring it up again, then follow through with inviting someone else...
Exactly my plan Arista! I am going to hold off. Concert is a week from tomorrow and I was thinking that she will probably contact me about it. Of course I haven't a lot of time to wait but I'll give her a couple days. So happy to hear you think it was wise to not try anything...my guy was saying too much too soon. Just wish I'd remembered to stick that banana sticker somewhere for her to find this week! It would have been epic. Can't believe I forgot that!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Oh and I replied to her this morning and said yes I did get home safe. She replied back with thanks again for dinner and the company and included a winking smiley.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
