Your h is a very, very confused man. He's a man/child at the moment going back and forth from being a kid/teen to a mature adult. The parent issue may be because, at the moment, he sees himself as a kid/teen and wants/needs his parents involved in his life...right down to them staying in the home. As a child/teen, they want their parents approval/acceptance of all that they do. During the crisis, many of them make a huge effort to get closer to their parents and siblings, especially when they weren't close pre crisis. Right now, he's one of those that needs all of the acceptance/affirmation from his parents.
I know that this issue is really bugging you, but please try to remember, you are just along for the ride. This is his issue to deal with and unfortunately, right now, it is all about him and what he needs to do to figure things out. Yes, he wants to work on things, but he's continuing to walk in the same spot over and over again. He hears you and your thoughts on his parents and them staying with you, but his crisis is calling in a louder voice. If you put him in the position of his parents or you, he may very well choose his parents.
Your expectation level has to remain at zero or no more than one. He's not capable at this time to living up to your expectations. Keep in mind...you are the adult and he's living in a body w/two mind sets at the moment.
Dig deeper for patience. It's going to take him a while to come back to earth as a mature man. I know you are frustration, but you can't look at him as the man you married...unfortunately you either have to accept him as he is now or you will continue to deal with anger, frustration and disappointment issues until you get to the point of walking away completely.
The bottom line is this...keep the focus on you as much as possible, watch the financials and just listen and don't offer up any suggestions unless he asks for them. Keep the expectations to zero or one so that you aren't disappointed.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
