If I reveal the A, demanding NC makes sense and I can see what you mean about it enabling me to be a "brand new man" (along with all the other work). I don't have a problem with NC, but without the A element being in play, there hasn't really been grounds for it.
I want to make sure we are on the same page. You don't demand NC from her. Okay? NC is an action that needs to come from you. You just stop contacting her (no initiating and no responding in this particular instance). And, if you do as Artista suggested, you would not engage with her at all while she is gone. I suggested telling her you were going radio silent so she would not have the military out looking for you, pretending she was scared something had happened to you.
I believe we need to think carefully about confrontation over the phone (texting). Let's talk it out and maybe Artista or others will voice their views on it. As of right now, I feel it would be better to take this time with complete NC, really work on your detachment, and be prepared when she gets back for a face to face. I'm concerned doing it through a text will appear cowardly to her.
Also, you said without the "A element", there really hasn't been grounds for it (NC). I don't know why you see it that way, when you made it clear to her that she had no authority to drill you with questions about GAL, and told her she was overbearing, etc. Even without an A being involved, you still have a wayward W. It wasn't an A that made her wayward. That's what some people don't understand, and it's what sets the wayward W apart from others, IMHO. It all started with her resentment, disrespect, selfishness, unrealistic expectations, self entitlement, manipulativeness, rebelliousness, etc. All her negative mental attitudes developed into this current mindset. An A is a form of rebelling against her H and the MR........but it isn't the only way to rebell.
This is an example of why I said we may need to talk it out futher, before you try to confront her over the phone.
You are getting stronger every day, and I do believe you could be a lot more stronger by the time she comes home, and she could see a brand new man standing before her, and standing up to her. Anyway, let's talk more about it. We can even role play, if you want to practice.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
