[s]No[/s] affair, no feelings...is there hope? III

[44tries]

Did i miss something? Did you two decide that you were no longer separated? What's with planning a trip together this summer? What's with talking with her while you are on your drive? Why are you accommodating her? You are right. There are holes in your detachment... GAPING! It's a shame you are not using this time and space apart to your advantage... She still has control over you... And your last paragraph says just how much she owns you... There is nothing in that paragraph that played out to your benefit... She won... Saying that it doesn't mean you don't want contact at all played into her hands. And that's why she walked away from the convo first...

When she returns, she will be the same as she was before she left... And you will still be attached...

If you do this right, meaning NC and working on detachment while she is away, you could show yourself a brand new man by the time she returns... But that CANNOT, WILL NOT happen if you keep in contact with her...

Mis dos centavos...

--artista

No, we didn't decide that we were no longer separated. Sandi has asked before about what our separation means exactly and I've told her the fact is we sleep in separate bedrooms. There are no other "rules" or discussions that have taken place. That is also why we are not NC, not even close. Planning a trip together is all her mumbo jumbo, I didn't entertain it.

If I reveal the A, demanding NC makes sense and I can see what you mean about it enabling me to be a "brand new man" (along with all the other work). I don't have a problem with NC, but without the A element being in play, there hasn't really been grounds for it.

Maybe the best option is to have the confrontation while she is away, implement NC/radio silence, and let her sit in it. While I work on this brand new man stuff for when she returns. This is the first time anyone has really said that absolutely cannot happen if we have any contact at all. Thank you for your input.