I write about this all the time it is called the illusion of action. You feel you have do something to stop the D when in reality it is the exact opposite.
You need to take the focus off your W and solely place it on you and your son. You need to get to a place where you you have a great life for your son and you and if she wants to join you great, if she does not that is ok too.
A person who loves and values themselves is not going to tolerate a spouse having an A and telling them for two years they do not want to be married to them.
