Afraid of the dark

[Ste7e]

Day #5
Not a great day filled with alot of anxiety. A buddy I was supposed to see was busy so I had alot of idle time and being out of town I had a hard time filling it. A lot of lonleyness as I ran about doing pointless errands. It did make me appreciate my normal routine back home which is worth something. I really had to just dig in deep on myself and kept thinking about how I have to learn to be happy and enjoy my own company. I know I used to be able to do that just trying to remember how? I had a few brief moments especially when I would catch myself thinking about the future and ground myself into the present moment I realized I was ok. Serious baby steps of the most smallest order but progress to getting back to myself.
I am really surprised that WAW has yet to text or anything even just in a logistical way related to her moving the rest of her stuff this weekend or the pets? I know she said that she unfollowed me on social media because she can't handle being reminded of me so maybe she is dong everything in her power to just wipe my existance because I do have some influence. Also she did see me for the first time with a new haircut and 35 lbs lighter last week I wonder if that is having an effect which she is trying to squash. I would really like to know what exactly it takes for a WAW to have a change of heart? I know I shouldn't care but I do I am just at the beginning of my journey.