I make no secret that I believe keep knowledge about an A hidden is not the way to go... But I do agree that the LBS has to be willing to fully let go once he lets the cat out of the bag... But the sooner he can get to this place, the better his chances of impacting the state of his marriage...
I have read from a few Hs here that they wish they would have kicked their WWs out when they found out about their As... when Hoosjim finally took that step, his fell apart, like I suspected she would...
I am not saying your WW will do the same, but I do think that if you detach, let her go, move on, she will at some point regret how she has treated you...
You can't really work on your marriage while she is being phony with you... You can't get to piecing by building upon/covering up a lie that you are aware of... And I agree with sandi2... That whole thing with validating your selfish W was just awful to read... She is cheating on you... Has told you she doesn't want the marriage... But is hurt that you aren't thoughtful about HER? I don't know why you are even taking her calls...
Don't be surprised that when she returns home, she also returns to her crappy treatment of you... Nothing will have improved in your marriage... She is playing you to keep you under her thumb...
You should be using this gift of space to work on you.. GAL... DETACH... not entertaining her ideas about your R... you are wasting valuable time and space...
