Was talking to NG and said something like "if you have nothing interesting or fun to do and want to hang out with us tomorrow we can ...."
So he called me on it saying i was making it out like son and i were plan J.
I told him it was carry over from the relationship dynamic with ex.
My ex basically wanted very little to do with us and that became my norm. It was a fight to get him to hang out with son and i on the weekends. Thats humiliating that i would fight with him over that. I should have just detached and left him. Instead of fighting with him to actually spend time with us. I had no pride.
Only now, i realize how insecure i come off as. I dont think i used to be like that. I had normal and reasonabke expectations from a husband and father and partner, but i am now believing ex's wonderland as normal.
I am also very aware that insecurity is not attractive. I was reading on Oranges thread, how they all went after women that were cheating POS but in which there was a chase. How they all want the chase and regret walking away from the more down to earth girl that wasnt pkaying games.
I like being honest and real about my insecurities. Im certainly confident that i make for a really good partner to someone.
But i am still left feeling like an obligation to someone. Thats all ibwas to ex for so long an obligation.
