Yeah, my wife's first EA in 2005 had the same progression. Their messages after I first asked her about who he was were classic, him being a knight in shining armor. He had one goal, to get her into bed. When she told him I was suspicious of them he went into this "Oh wow, this guy sounds wound too tight." "He is holding on for dear life!" Etc.
Not sure about the one at the end of last year. He was just a younger (than my W and I) guy that had no other prospects in life and was trying to be someone he wasn't on the internet. On FB he had listed "attended such and such community college studying just about everything". When I ran a background check on him he had dropped out of high school and had gone through the community college's GED program! ROFL
But I am sure it was the same approach. Befriend. Play into her feelings with acquired info. And then tried to be a rescuing presence. The messages I found on BD were her telling him she didn't mean to get between him and his girlfriend. And him saying he wasn't sure he wanted his GF anymore because of her. Typical player line. Of course, his girlfriend was in her early 30s and my W was almost 50. And while she is very attractive, it is hard to compete with a W 20 years her junior. So eventually the OM let her down easy after he'd had some fun.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
W just tried to call. I was busy at work and didn't want her blowing my phone up for the next 2 hours, so I sent a text saying I was busy and asked her if she needed something. She then texted back "Sorry, I thought you were still on lunch", followed by, "Just wanted to see how D did at her game last night. I also was going to talk to you about something else but it's not a big deal". I just sent back, "She did good". Not sure what that's all about, but I don't really care. Every other time I've got a "want to talk to you about something" text and call her, it ends up with her trying to ask me for money or something. I'm not going to respond. It could also be that she's been thinking about me meeting with the L on Wednesday and after our short talk yesterday she thinks I filed for D. But that's just useless mind reading. Like I said, I'm not going to worry about it and go about the rest of my day...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Yeah, knowing her she'll let it be known tonight in your driveway.
Right? seriously you could set a watch by her lunacy. My WW is possibly more crazy but in a MUCH MUCH quieter way, and i do not envy that of you MTB. You and I joined this forum around the same time, for similar reasons, and you story has been a fair reflection of my own. I wish you nothing but strength and success in your continued endeavors. Seeing how you have handled yourself has helped me build a framework on how I handle my WW.
Strength to you Brother.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Yeah, knowing her she'll let it be known tonight in your driveway.
LOL... Joke's on her. I have to hand out diplomas tonight at graduation, so no one will be there...
It also occurred to me a few days ago that this Sunday is Mother's Day. She hasn't asked me to have the kids that day. I figured for sure she would have said something by now, but I guess she does always want to wait until the last minute. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she forgets about it and doesn't even see the kids. My plan for the day was to let her have the kids if she asked for them. Other than that, I'm going to treat it like a normal day. A few weeks ago, I would have been tempted to wish her Happy Mother's Day or ask her to go to dinner with me and the kids. But a lot of the advice on the board says to not acknowledge birthdays and holidays, so I don't plan on doing it...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
W sent a text earlier asking if she could take the kids to her mom's for Mother's Day. I told her that was fine and to send me a text letting me know what time she would get them. Then she tried to call a few times I didn't answer. A few more texts saying she wanted to talk. The last one saying that she really needed to talk about us. I finally returned her call. She said the way we have been acting towards each other was stupid and she feels like she doesn't know who I am anymore. I told her the same could be said about her and she wasn't the woman that I married. She said this isn't us, and I told her that there was no more us. I think in her mind, she thought we were just going to be best buddies and high five each other when we exchange the kids. And that would be nice, but I really feel betrayed and effed over by her, so it's not gonna happen. I told her when this all started that I wasn't willing to be friends. I don't think of her that way, and I wasn't going to try to fool myself. At this point, I'm just disgusted and she isn't the type of person I would choose to be friends with anyway...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
She told me her mom was calling and asked if I'd wait on the line while she took the call. I told her I would. I waited for about 2 minutes and hung up. I tried to call her back 15 minutes later and she didn't answer. I left it at that...
Went to pick the kids up from my parents' house after graduation and my dad told me she called him to apologize for the way she treated/talked to him the other night when she called the cops. She said she didn't want things to be like this. He told her the same. She asked if she could meet with him to talk, but he was busy. She offered to buy a drug test and come out to their house and take it. The reason being, last week he told her if she took a dtug test and passed, he would give her some money, knowing that she wouldn't. She flat out refused that time. Most likely because she knew she wasn't clean at the time. I'm really curious as to why she offered to take one now. I'd guess she's taken a few days off and thinks she can piss clean. She also told him that she didn't file anything. I think her knowing I talked to the lawyer has her a bit shook up and she's trying to play nice...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
