w makes no attempt to show any sort of affection whatsoever...I try and kiss her and she finds every excuse possible to pull away...should i ask her to move out?...ask her to move out of the bedroom again?....my DB coach told me to avoid things which push her away...
Well you two are stuck, that's for sure. I suspect your W doesn't want you, but does want the security of a home and a double-income. As for asking her to move out, that depends on what you want. I'm sure you want to recon, but now that so much time has passed you've got to accept that you're in a sexless, loveless marriage and decide if that's acceptable. I get the impression that it's not, so yes, it may be time to separate. I suspect that separation may switch her from a WAS to a LBS, but you can't bank on that. So if you go down that road just make sure it's what you really want.
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i want a meaningful intimate relationship with the person i love...is this too much to ask??
If you ask me, my take is sex and intimacy is REQUIRED. I personally accept nothing less in my romantic relationships. It amazes me how many people out there DO accept that though. One of my coworkers has been married for around 40 years and says they have sex once or twice a year, and he has to beg for it. How people get in these situations is beyond me but it does happen. My aunt and uncle were like that too, no sex for the last 10 years of their M.
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...I am willing to admit my role and shortcomings in our relationship and do the work necessary, but it seems like she is not..
No she clearly is not working on anything. So you've got to decide if you are OK with the status quo or not.
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I never make any serious move in bed since i fear rejection and see no sign she is remotely interested...is it possible I'm misreading and she thinks since I don't make any move that i'm not interested??
More than likely she's not interested. I wouldn't put the moves on her given everything you describe, she's likely to react very negatively to it.
