I want to thank everyone who has been helping me in the last 24 hours especially. I have not been posting for a while, but now that my W is contacting me, I will keep this board very active because I will want to consult with you intelligent people.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
I want to thank everyone who has been helping me in the last 24 hours especially. I have not been posting for a while, but now that my W is contacting me, I will keep this board very active because I will want to consult with you intelligent people.
I understand wanting to bounce off what your next move should be.
but instead of just asking, why don't you really think about what your next moves/responses should be and post them here instead of us telling you what to do.
What do YOU really think you should be doing right now?
W texted me in the middle of the night asking if I could leave the signed papers at my front desk of my office building, or in my car today (Monday) so "she could have them when she got to work on Tuesday". She said, you dont need to see me, you can just leave them there and I will pick them up. Or She can swing by my place after work on Monday and pick them up.
I don't mind any of these options; is my head just over thinking this?
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
How about take some deep breaths, read over the excellent advice and viewpoints that many posters have given to you instead of spinning and just asking how to respond to your W!
In all the postings that were made to you that don't even get acknowledged, the answers are in there! It may not be what you want to hear, but it's there.
Now breath. Read. And how about sticking to the original plan?
Chris, I haven't followed the last 24 hours of your sitch, but Ginger is spot on. Why come here and ask for advice and then completely ignore it? These people are trying to genuinely help you.
I wrote a post in my own thread last week about people reacting poorly to advice and observations made about their sitch. Don't be that guy. You are at a critical point in your sitch that could set up what you'll need to do moving forward. Don't discount the people that have been through it before.
Good luck man, I know anytime it comes to a next step in D there is a lot of trepidation on the part of the LBS. I wish you the best man.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Just went back and caught up. Turns out I had been reading your sitch, so knew most of what had occurred. Christ in general I think you were handling it correctly. Notice that as you distanced she started chasing.
I would be tempted, if I were you, to tell her this: "I am morally opposed to divorce. I refuse to take part in the divorce. If you want to divorce it is on you and I will only do what I am court ordered to do."
Another marriage expert I listen to and read (not MWD) put it this way. If your wife came to you with a plot to murder your neighbor, would you join in the plot if she asked you? No you wouldn't because it would be wrong. Same thing when your spouse comes to you with a plot to murder your marriage.
Chris, do you want the divorce? If not, then I would stop all voluntary participation. I saw something about dissolution rather than divorce. I do not know the difference, but I assume you can contest a dissolution just like you can a divorce. And finally, I see the reason for going with a dissolution is financial? Letting finances drive your decisions in these things, in my opinion, is a terrible choice. I've said this to others here, never agree to something based on it being better financially. Money is way to important to most people.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
