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endofit Offline OP
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Let me Answer some of the ?s

My Ex is with her 3rd OW...Her original affair like all others blew apart the basically second I stopped playing the game.

As for my turn around it I wish I could say it happned overnight but it was more of a slow awakening...

Phase 1
I just started faking it...I started going to the gym, going golfing, started dong new stuff and meeting new people. But I was faking.

Then I started noticing that the less I paid attention to WAW the more she would contact me. I wont lie I relished her calling me still. I still needed her validation. But slowly her calls started to feel like a nuisance. Then one day i found myself genuinley annoyed with her calls because they were interupting my "faking it...It was then I realized...I wasn't faking it anymore...I was genuinley HAPPY!!!

That small epihany opened the freaking flood gates....I started doing everything I ever wanted to do, I got back into martial arts, bought new a new Jeep, went on trips, climbed a mountain. I got Tattoos, I grew a beard, read books basically when i didnt have my kids I did whatever I wanted to do.

Phase 2.....to be COntinued


Me: 39
W: 38
S: 15
D: 12
D: 6
BD 8/15 NEED SPACE
S 2/16
Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
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endofit Offline OP
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Also I am goign to read through some of you alls threads and will give you my opinion.

Warning I will not pull punches you will get the cold hard truth from me.


Me: 39
W: 38
S: 15
D: 12
D: 6
BD 8/15 NEED SPACE
S 2/16
Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
Joined: Apr 2018
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Originally Posted By: endofit


Warning I will not pull punches you will get the cold hard truth from me.


Good. this is preferable.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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endofit Offline OP
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Now that I am on the other side of things I think my knowledge can help all of you . Ive already Busted one divorce IRL for a friend. BUT you have to understand the goal HAS to be YOUR hapiness...NOT RECONCILIATION!! My guesss is at some point you will have the offer to reconcile...you may take it...you may do like me and day "Im good"


Me: 39
W: 38
S: 15
D: 12
D: 6
BD 8/15 NEED SPACE
S 2/16
Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
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Please do I need it!


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Ste7e #2789391 05/10/18 06:12 PM
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I'll just remind people reading this that not all WAS are the same. To me (without reading) this sounds more of a WW than WAS, as she kept calling to you etc.

I'll give my sitch as an example, where my WAS has moved in with OM and has never said anything to me if it was not related to the kids. Not to even congratulate me on my birthday. In some cases the story is really over at the BD and the OM can be a long term relationship. People forget the fact that you can fix yourself "on-the-fly" too. But as AS said, we who make ourselves the best version we can be, win anyways. smile


In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced
2 young kids
new relationship
lcause #2789458 05/11/18 03:01 AM
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It is about being happy with ourselves at the end. We must love ourselves to be able to love others.


WW H(me): 55
W: 50
S: 20
T: 31 M: 25

Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
lcause #2789472 05/11/18 03:51 AM
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endofit Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: lcause
I will just remind people reading this that not all WAS are the same. To me (without reading) this sounds more of a WW than WAS, as she kept calling to you etc.

I will give my sitch as an example, where my WAS has moved in with OM and has never said anything to me if it was not related to the kids. Not to even congratulate me on my birthday. In some cases the story is really over at the BD and the OM can be a long term relationship. People forget the fact that you can fix yourself on-the-fly too. But as AS said, we who make ourselves the best version we can be, win anyways.


That [censored] but why do you give a [censored] if someone who screws other people while married with children, wishes you Happy Birthday??? Like she is some prize?? I would just as soon be wished happy birthday by ISIS..at least they are loyal to something. Miss me with that nonsense.

And to your other point...you are right. In very very small percentages (5 per cent) cheating scumbags actually stay together and find a way to make it work!! Which is great because it keeps them from infecting the rest of us again.

I can PM you the source of my data if needs be. It won t let me post a link to another page.

Last edited by Cadet; 05/11/18 04:55 AM. Reason: restored post

Me: 39
W: 38
S: 15
D: 12
D: 6
BD 8/15 NEED SPACE
S 2/16
Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
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End, not sure if you've read the "disappearing posts" thread but if you're trying to post from a phone or tablet then switch to a PC and see if that works. There are problems with certain punctuation marks on phones and tablets, the forum software doesn't know what to do so blanks out the entire message when you post it.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
lcause #2789475 05/11/18 04:00 AM
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endofit Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: lcause
I'll just remind people reading this that not all WAS are the same. To me (without reading) this sounds more of a WW than WAS, as she kept calling to you etc.

I'll give my sitch as an example, where my WAS has moved in with OM and has never said anything to me if it was not related to the kids. Not to even congratulate me on my birthday. In some cases the story is really over at the BD and the OM can be a long term relationship. People forget the fact that you can fix yourself "on-the-fly" too. But as AS said, we who make ourselves the best version we can be, win anyways. smile



That really stinks, you deserve better!

Question, why do you give a **** if your cheating ex wishes you HBD? I'd just ass soon be wished HBD by ISIS! At least they are loyal to something! She screwed another man while she had a husband and small children at home, but you need to be validated by her, on your Birthday?? Nah man...Miss me with that BS!!

To your other point, yes in very very small percentages (5%) the cheating lowlifes find a way to make it work. That is great news IMO because it keeps them from infecting the rest of us.

Your WAW may seem happy now but TRUST me its all a ruse!


Me: 39
W: 38
S: 15
D: 12
D: 6
BD 8/15 NEED SPACE
S 2/16
Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
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