On the phone over the past week he also showed some curiosity about what we've been doing and he ended calls with "give me a call if you need anything" which is his old phrase that he used to use when we were away from home and called to check-in.
Sounds like a little bit of a temperature check there. That's good, it sounds like you're doing a great job of DB'ing and now he's starting to wonder why you're no longer pursuing!
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There's no sign my husband wants to reconcile. Maybe he's just being friendly because the pressure is gone. I stopped all talk of the future and of our marriage months ago and now we live far away so he has the freedom he wished for.
On the other hand, I do consider these updates to be some degree of DB success because a few months ago my husband wanted to "divorce immediately at all costs" and said "I want to divorce you right away so you don't have any hope."
Now he's not talking about divorce at all, not that he's not planning for it later, but the crisis seems to have passed and we seem to be in a different stage now.
I think you're right, he no longer feels pressure from you and that takes away the urgency of pursuing D. And I do agree with you that THAT is progress! DB'ing is all about baby steps, there are rarely any big moves. So celebrate the baby steps!
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My daughter and I have been busy pretty much every day with events and seeing friends....it's still odd though the comments I receive from various people when I tell them my husband left and we'll likely get divorced. They'll say things like "don't want to divorce now to be free?" Or "don't worry he'll come right back to you as soon as he wakes up." Or "you have better things coming for you..." I don't really know what to say to any of those comments. My mind is still conflicted in many ways.
That's pretty typical. Michele talks about it in DR, people think the best thing for you is to rip the band-aid off but only YOU know what is best for you. If you get tired of them saying that stuff then reply with "I am choosing to stand for my marriage and I would appreciate your support while I'm going through this."
