[s]No[/s] affair, no feelings...is there hope? III

[44tries]

Mowgli,

I loved your post because it was so plain and to the point. You broke the whole thing down and told it how it is. That's the script and we already know how it goes.

I agree that revealing the A needs to end up being the capstone to my revolution efforts. But like you said I need to be truly ready, on all fronts. I am getting there. One of my major hold-backs is the fact that I can't physically walk out and leave the home. You stated your situation worked with just separate living arrangements? My thoughts so far are that I will tell her to get all of her things out of the master bedroom. She has no business coming in there anymore. But this isn't as powerful as leaving and I'm worried if it will be enough. However, I think in the end the important thing will be that I am truly non receptive to any manipulation attempts, I am fully detached, and she knows I am on the fast track out and not looking back. My demand for respect needs to be crystal clear and her fear of loss real.

Steve,

I understand the worry about it being viewed as pursuit or control. I think as long as it isn't a negotiation of any kind, and I stick to my guns and pull it off properly, it will be a statement of boundary and demand for respect. I will not be "asking" anything of her. The real issue is being able to pull it off properly. She will play every card in the deck and you nailed it with the snooping accusations. She will likely deny till she's blue, then turn it around to my snooping, and any other twisting she can manage. I need to be strong and prepared.

So I'm taking my time. But there's no denying it has to be part of the plan.