My Scenario Pt.5 - Big D and Detaching the Monster

[mtb1981]

Oh wow.......it's endless. She may use some excuse to contact you. She may just text you out of the blue, as if nothing's happened. For instance, if you have a birthday, she may text happy bithday.......to see if you respond, and how.

Haha... This just happened to me last week... And a few of the other temp checks you stated in the post. WW's are strange creatures...

[OrangeK]

My birthday is Mid July, and she used to go big for birthdays, last year was my 30th and she was already dating OM for a few months, unknown to me at the time, and she didnt do anything at all for my Bday.

She may try to temp check on my Bday. Itll be funny if she does.

I really feel like it took my balls back yesterday. I feel so motivated.

[JujuB]

Great post from sandi!

And that was great interactions. I think your responses were perfect. I would continue with that. I definitly would not soften or show loving kindness in future responses.

She wont respect that and will feel like she has some good negotiating power that way.

I dont think she hates you. I think she is self serving and a good negotiator for herself. Shes just trying to figure out what will work on you. Anger, blame, flirting, lies? Shes definitly dangerous so continue to keep your cool and ensure everything is documented.

Best scenario is she finds you boring and has other men to focus her attention on.

[OrangeK]

Great post from sandi!

Heck yes it was. GOLD.

And that was great interactions. I think your responses were perfect. I would continue with that. I definitly would not soften or show loving kindness in future responses.

She wont respect that and will feel like she has some good negotiating power that way.

I feel great about how things went yesterday. Keeping up that theme.
It definitely shows the difference in how she treated me when i was still begging. Like i said, she was fairly amicable until i set a boundary that didn't fit with exactly what she wanted. True colors right there. She's spent her whole life getting what she wants from her parents and men. she checked her purse and found my balls had vacated back to my person. She wasn't pleased. I hope she isnt able to keep composure in court when things dont go her way also, it will show the judge her true personality.

I dont think she hates you. I think she is self serving and a good negotiator for herself. Shes just trying to figure out what will work on you. Anger, blame, flirting, lies? Shes definitly dangerous so continue to keep your cool and ensure everything is documented.

Again I agree. I'll be curious to see if she changes tactics from bitterness, to kindness, to apologetic to flirty or just stays bitter. Its like a home science experiment at this point lol.

Best scenario is she finds you boring and has other men to focus her attention on.

That seems to be what shes doing, but everyone keeps saying shes still most likely keeping tabs on me.

Here is where I admit a bit of a weakness.
I still very much desire sex with her. If she chose that tactic i think i would find it hard to resist. I dont think it would instantly set me back to being in love with her, and i know id still know her true colors after the fact, but right now, id probably still go for it if she made it available. If im being honest.

[mtb1981]

Here is where I admit a bit of a weakness.
I still very much desire sex with her. If she chose that tactic i think i would find it hard to resist. I dont think it would instantly set me back to being in love with her, and i know id still know her true colors after the fact, but right now, id probably still go for it if she made it available. If im being honest.

I used to think the same thing about my W. But then thinking about her being with OM kind of grossed me out. I don't want his sloppy seconds. As another poster on this board put it, who knows what she's had in her mouth since she's been gone. Do you want to be kissing that mouth?...

[JujuB]

^^^^

Ugh so true. Many people on these boards discourage another relationship. And i totally get why. Personally, i needed to wait i think it was a year post BD.

But if you are that.. (insert correct word) is there harm in casually dating someone? As long as your honest and upfront about your situation, and make sure it does not involve your son.

Seriously, i would avoid your ex lile she has the plague.

[OrangeK]

I used to think the same thing about my W. But then thinking about her being with OM kind of grossed me out. I don't want his sloppy seconds. As another poster on this board put it, who knows what she's had in her mouth since she's been gone. Do you want to be kissing that mouth?...

I get that, Not really saying I would do it in a heartbeat, just that would be difficult to resist.
We had a good sexual relationship for the most part.

[OrangeK]

^^^^

Ugh so true. Many people on these boards discourage another relationship. And i totally get why. Personally, i needed to wait i think it was a year post BD.

But if you are that.. (insert correct word) is there harm in casually dating someone? As long as your honest and upfront about your situation, and make sure it does not involve your son.

Seriously, i would avoid your ex lile she has the plague.

Im not going to just drop everything and hop in bed if she offered, or made it clear it was an option.

I am trying to date now. Considering how long our relationship was "dead" before i knew it, and the time since BD and separation, we haven't been intimate in almost a year. I'm 30, i have needs lol.

Im trying to date, but My life and S3 come first so finding time to do so is hard.

[OrangeK]

Sandi - Just bumping this up so you see it as the thread has gone a bit off topic from this post.

"#2789224 - Today at 01:54 AM"

[OrangeK]

Any advice our guidelines for future interactions with WW would be most appreciated. Yesterday went well, I want to make sure im prepped for anything else she might throw my way so i dont screw up DB.