It is a very difficult journey that you are on and one that I truly do understand. It's difficult enough to get one BD, but to get a second one...it really does rip the scar right open.
Be patient and kind w/yourself. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Now, it is your time to heal and focus on you and what you need to do to pick yourself up. It's going to take you a while to get back to where you were prior to the second BD, but I can assure you, when you do, you will be far stronger and wiser than you were the first time around.
Gerda, I have a lot of faith in you and the power of prayers. You will be okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
