What you are feeling is absolutely normal because you had begun to heal from the first BD and now, that scar has been torn open once again. Right now, you are in a very low place, but, in time, you will slowly rise again.
Use the tools that you acquired the first time around to help you this time. Your faith and the DB tools will help and make you stronger. Just like the young tree blowing in a hurricane, you will bend, but you can't be broken. You are stronger than you think.
This time around, keep the focus on you and you alone. Leave him in God's hands.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
