Adding this from the last thread as I just restored it.
Originally Posted By: Maybell
But I cannot see how x replaces our kids, though. OW has a d17, is that enough
I m sorry to say it, but no. He doesn t value your children the way you do. How many of the things he did could he have done if he loved them the way you do Could he have avoided your hospital room if he cared about his children No, because he knows they love you. Could he have left for Alaska if he cared about them No, because keeping them stable in their schools and friendships would have been important to him. Could he have had affairs No, because part of how a father takes care of his children (especially his daughters) is by showing them how a woman (their mother) should be treated.
The OW s d17 is an accessory just as your kids are. If she starts showing up in the pics it will be to show the world that OTHER people appreciate him, but that you re a bitter bunny who poisoned his kids against him but he can t be that bad if the OW s D is smiling in pictures with him. Impression management.
I m sorry to be blunt but what the OW is doing to her daughter is just as bad as what your ex has done (is doing) to your kids. I m so proud of your D20, on your behalf.
Super excited for you to be moving forward on the teaching abroad gig I envy you having new learning to take on.
I would not have agreed to the tax thing. Just my two cents. But I hope it resolves successfully.
It makes sense that you would want to be married or committed again. It makes sense married is your default state at this point. I m reading a book about romantic attachment styles and the first point it makes is that ALL HUMANS need a partnership. It s in our genes. But some of us have dysfunctional attachment styles that cause our relationships to short circuit, even when we sincerely love someone. I believe your ex loved you as best as his dysfunctional attachment style would permit, and that my ex did too. I actually think they still do and that s the reason for the crazy behavior. But that doesnt mean it s healthy for us to be attached to people who can t function in a relationship.
I think I m mostly at peace with my divorce (but not 100 percent). I still get mad at Mr. Fantastic for making such destructive choices. I m disgusted with his lazy parenting (if you can even really call it that). He has gone so far downhill since our divorce, in so many stupid ways, that I m kind of grateful to be away from his crazy. But I also feel really sad for the waste of it all, including the waste of so many of his good qualities. The best I can hope is to kind of make up for it with how I manage my life.
I m proud of you for trying to reframe your opportunity to have your grand adventure. I can t wait to hear more about it as you report from overseas (right )
HUGS, 25.
MAYBELL
If you happen to read here I have restored your post - PLEASE stop using contractions with the associated symbol it is what is causing your posts to blank out - Thanks - CADET
