Can I really do this #2

[Dtrmned]

TRIED.....

Best laid plans...

D has a field trip next week. W knew about it as I had sent her an email asking about the permission slip earlier yesterday morning. W said she had it all covered and it was on the table. Turns out there was $55 due on this that we had to pay today. I told D to ask mom for a check as I was headed out for a run and I didn't have any checks. W walks in and says "it doesn't matter if I give her a check, you don't put any money into our joint account anyway so there isn't enough there". A little pissed she said this in front of my D, so I did respond poorly and said "I guess your mom's vehicle service was more important for the money even though it was unnecessary and wasn't even due for a few thousand miles". I bowed out and went for my run. Felt bad that both W and I failed by not being united. I felt bad I let her get to me and I lashed out. 10 minutes into my run texted W and said to write the check and I will make sure the money is there in the morning. Got back from my run and asked to speak with my W. She is so cold now about everything! I said that I didn't like the way either of us handled it and I think we can do better. I didn't blame her, took my blame, and apologized for what I did. She shrugged it off, said she didn't have a chance to print out her mediation checklist paperwork and would do it tomorrow.

Weird to me...we all then, as a family, sat down to dinner.

Also, don't know what is happening, but got a few tests back and they are wanting me to come in quickly and are talking about referring and more tests.

Headed there tomorrow. A little worried, but good or bad I have decided this is a challenge for myself alone. Based on my W's comments, I don't want this to be a factor EVER!

W is still adamant about pushing forward at this time. I feel the ride is going to get WAY worse before it gets better either way it goes. I can't stop the train, I can step out of the way before it hits me.