Gotdie #19: patience, trust...and hope

[Gordie]

Journaling

I followed coach advice and talked to my teens

Reassured them of where things are at present

No guarantees of the future but that I would inform them if things change

I have been single parenting a while now

At all the kid events when I am alone

I have been faking it

Faking that I am happy and okay with this

But I think my faking finally crossed over to making it

I can now do those things with actual gratitude and joy

A genuine appreciation for my time with them

I would not be as involved with my kids had this not happened

And I can be thankful for that

Thankful for this season which is passing

As the older ones head off to college

That I did not miss this

W wants to do a family activity for mother s day and dinner

I said okay and made the reservations

Will get a small present

This is high family season for us

Birthdays and end of school events and father s day

And then our anniversary

Now that there is no pressure to participate

She wants to be at family activities

She has been touching me more in a friendly non sexual way

Peace be with all of you in this dark valley