Laurie, I've been looking at your post all morning and will continue to throughout the day I'm sure. It just never occured to me, your insights into H's mind are amazing. I know that I would NEVER have come to this conclusion.
This must be what H meant when he said "don't you think I care about our S at all?" as the tears were filling his eyes.
It's all soooo sad, that something like this has to happen. That a person can go to such lengths, extremes to get something they want, they think they need no matter what the cost.
Maybe I'm just niave in thinking she would resort to drive bys! To "watching" us. Stalking my H, leaving messages--a fatal attraction of sorts. This is not a world I want to be a part of...nor do I want that for my S. That she would possibly sink lower than she has already is scary to me...for my S. Maybe I'm being too paranoid or making this bigger than it is, should be.
My H also shared with me that her deceased H never wanted to do anything, except sit at home and drink beer and smoke pot. H likes to do things and she liked this about my H.
Quote: I know that sounds funny, but that is why it is so important for you to continue to validate and be there for him. She will eventually turn him against her because of this. Remember how it turned him off to you when you were acting this way, well she is going a step further and that is not cool.
I was thinking about this yesterday, too, when I acted like that it turned him against me, made him angry. But, then I was to blame for all his unhappiness. H did this to OW, he gave her expectations because H wasn't happy, shared his feeings with her and of course she took those feelings, H's unhappiness and tried to fix his feelings, tried to make H happy, by buying him and being everything to him at the sacrifice of herself.. She made those expcatations her world and is hanging on to them with all her self anyway she can. H suggested at one point, "that maybe I should go talk to OW!" since noone else was getting through to her. OW needs helps desparately and I hope she finds it.
