Get to that place again, Cathy, where Hs actions didn't matter, where it didn't matter how long this took, where you knew you could do it... you've been there before, take yourself back there.
Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind. Your H has done this, Cathy, and right now you are in the middle of his whirlwind, not knowing which way to turn. Look up, girlfriend, the sky is clear overhead. Get out of his whirlwind... get back to God.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.