Can I really do this #2

[SteveLW]

This is all the pursuit game. You have begun to do a good job of detaching and it is unsettling to her. You really need to hold the line on all of this. Especially her part of the D. She is wanting you do all the work. Classic WAW move. What WAWs would really like to say is: "I want a divorce. Call me when it is over."

In my sitch, after my wife stated her grand plan of getting a job, getting an apartment and getting a D, her hope, and she pretty much admitted it, was that I would agree to the D, and start the process. That would push her to do the first 2 parts of her plan. When I made it clear that I was morally and principally opposed to divorce and would be doing nothing to move it along, that was the first popping of her balloon. She knew a contested divorce would be a lot more work for her than she was willing to put into it. Likely your wife is the same. After all, her actions are speaking so much louder than words! She is doing nothing to find a job? She is doing nothing to find another place to live? She is doing nothing to move forward with the D.

And like everything else in her life she doesn't follow through on she blames you for it!

And you are right. She obviously felt safe on Friday night. She trusted you. AND she felt connected to you. And all three of those were counter to what she wanted to feel, but it wasn't until the next day that she realized it! And when she did she got angry at herself, but as with all of the above she blames you. That is what WAWs/WWs do, they blame the LBH for all of the things they don't like, even things that are fully in their own control.

Keep up the good work. I see two things happening:

1) I see you getting closer and closer to moving on from her every day.
2) I see her panicking about you getting closer and closer to moving on from her every day.

#2 comes out in very contradictory ways. Because she has convinced herself she doesn't want/need you, but the minute you start to move on it scares her. The fear causes her to try and do things to move you back into her realm of control. She then feels yucky for violating her own proclamation on what she said she wants, so she lashes out.

What you see is a very childish "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY. COME HERE. COME HERE. COME HERE." Thus: "Stop asking about MY health. But oh by the way, how is your health?"

Logic? Reason? WAWs/WWs have no use for such things. Even when you point out their contradictions they can't see it.