You are once again back tracking. You know what you need to do. You can make excuses until the cow moos, but please stop. GO OUT, GET OUT. Your kids know you love them.
You can't become your best version until you let go. You questions show a lot of excuses to try and stay around.
Your W is D you. Show her the best Tate she will be walking away from.
Also, IMO you are still trying to make your W happy, please don't take what she offers you. Fight back and force her to negotiate. Show her the man she will be leaving. A fighter, a person that don't just get rolled over. And walk away from thatvlawyer that want even fight for you. Look up the number one divorce lawyer in San Antonio. She is good, and she will tell you, she can get you 50/50.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.