It takes a certain kind of pond scum to pursue a married woman. They all run the same tired play book:
Step 1: Be listening ear as a "friend" Step 2: Use information gathered in step one to your advantage. Step 3: Be the "Knight in Shining Armor" while the LBS is losing their **** chasing the WAW
Take away step 3 and you just have a couple of sad sacks. Your WAW will quickly see she is with a weasel not some HERO!!
Its so predictable...makes me want to puke.
Hhahahahahaha... This is exactly the "new friend" my W has. Anything that happens, she runs to him and gives her BS version, and runs through the steps you listed. And you're exactly right. She sees him as her white knight, but he's actually just white trash...
They always "affair down"
Here is the real messed up thing....Do you know what the glue in there relationship is???? Its YOU!! Stop giving the POS fodder...
Me: 39 W: 38 S: 15 D: 12 D: 6 BD 8/15 NEED SPACE S 2/16 Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
Preach it man! lot's of struggling newbies here that could use the hard support you seem to offer.
If you could elaborate on your situation or provide a link to old posts, that would be great.
Feel free to check out my thread, LMK what you think.
Your First post on this thread was EXACTLY what i needed to hear this morning. Im riding a "High" wave of self value and motivation right now, messages like yours keep me on top brother! Keep it coming!
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Glad to see you come back to encourage these guys. Telling them to be the best version of themselves is advice that's often passed around......but I am having doubts that some men even have an idea of what it means. Especially those H's who have been M a long time. They seem to lose sight of that better version. Maybe you could give some pointers?
I think the best shot in the arm for all the guys here, is to see a man come back here to tell the others that they came through the fire as a better & happier man.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think the best shot in the arm for all the guys here, is to see a man come back here to tell the others that they came through the fire as a better & happier man.
Yes. and YES.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Welcome to the other side brother I (and others here as well) am constantly trying to preach that when people properly DB, they come out a winner no matter what happens to their M. Because DB'ing is all about becoming the spouse only a fool would leave, and if they leave anyway then they are a fool and do you really want to be married to a fool? You are a perfect example of winning outside of recon.
I also appreciate that you mentioned that your WAS now wants to recon, because something else I preach a lot is that with enough time, most WAS's do indeed attempt to recon. But by then so much time has passed that the LBS has healed and moved on, and it's the LBS that stops recon in it's tracks. I suspect there are many stories like yours but most don't come back here to share them, so thanks for that.
Originally Posted By: endofit
I wish someone couldve hit me in the head with a 2x4 3 years ago when my now ex wife started her BS.
I went back and read your thread and you got clubbed pretty good, especially by TXHubby. The problem with most of us is right after BD we are so hyper-focused on "putting things back to normal" that we are blind to good advice and 2x4's. Eventually it sinks in, but it takes a while.
TXHubby switched from pussycat to lion as well, and his W also decided she wanted to recon with him. Like you, he told her it was too late. She literally begged him and eventually he did decide to give her another shot. But he went in eyes wide open.
Quote:
Take away step 3 and you just have a couple of sad sacks.
I (and others here as well) am constantly trying to preach that when people properly DB, they come out a winner no matter what happens to their M. Because DB'ing is all about becoming the spouse only a fool would leave, and if they leave anyway then they are a fool and do you really want to be married to a fool? You are a perfect example of winning outside of recon.