She just left. Showed up with BFF and wanted to take the kids outside to see her, but I told her no because they were already in bed. That she came over to say good night to them, not patade them around in front of her friend in the driveway in theri pajamas. Before she left, I told her to tell OM to stop sending me texts. She asked what he sent. I told her he said I was a $hitty father and I physically abuse her. Then she claimed to be covered in bruises. Which I can't see happening, and if she was it was her shoving her way past me into the house Sunday night. She's still deep in the fantasy. Still claiming her and OM are just friends. That she spends the night over there a few nights a week, but nothing is going on. Whatever. Anyway, I meet with a lawyer tomorrow to discuss my rights and try to figure out where to go from here...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I think you're absolutely right, Orange. It's the shock of the BD that gets us. Once it wears off, you start to see the WAS as what they truly are and wonder why you were even upset. My W has become someone I don't even want to associate with. The hard part is dealing with the memories of who they used to be and wondering if that person will ever come back. I've realized there is nothing I can do to make that person come back, so it's best to let go and move on. Maybe someday they fix their issues and come back to being the person we fell in love with. But we can't wait around waiting for it to happen...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Just met with a lawyer. He seems to think I'm sitting alright. I have over 3 months of documentation and texts of her being absent from the kids' lives and backing out on plans. He seemed to pretty happy when I showed him my little journal...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Here's something funny. W sent me a text last night that said "Soooooo. How did your appointment go?" I did not tell her I was meeting with the lawyer, and nobody knew about it except my parents. She must have seen my car parked in front of the law office downtown. For a guy that she doesn't want, she sure likes to keep tabs on me. Anyway, I did not respond. She called 3 times, and I did not answer. Followed by 2 texts, "Can you please call me?" and "I need you to call me". I did not respond to either of those texts. If it was important, she would have given me more info in her texts. She was just being nosy and was going to interrogate me about seeing a lawyer. Sorry, W, but you don't get to do that anymore. My mischievous side wanted to respond to her first text with, "Not good. The dentist said I have a bad tooth that I need to get removed immediately"...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
LOL That would have been hilarious. But I think the mystery of ignoring her is better. Get ready for suddenly sweet and nice. And talk of R and MC again. Don't fall for it. She is going to try to control you and bide her time. She knows she is screwed for custody, I don't think she is dumb. She has essentially abandoned her kids and will want to try to get a better track record before proceedings start.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
LOL That would have been hilarious. But I think the mystery of ignoring her is better. Get ready for suddenly sweet and nice. And talk of R and MC again. Don't fall for it. She is going to try to control you and bide her time. She knows she is screwed for custody, I don't think she is dumb. She has essentially abandoned her kids and will want to try to get a better track record before proceedings start.
I agree 100%. The lawyer said the same thing. All of a sudden mommy is going to want to be around. He said it would probably be best to file immediately, before she could try to pretend that she's a good mom...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I think her getting served with D papers might be something that would snap her out of it. That stuff just got real. I think right now she thinks she can still just turn on the charm and reel you back in whenever she wants to.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
