Weekend is done. Overall, it was good. WAW was friendly and a bit more talkative with me. Not sure if just being different because the blended family is together. The more I see how much my kids from previous marriage warm up to her, the harder it makes me feel about the reality of her MLC. If the kids only knew. I hope WAW would see what she is impacting.
black8, I know that is the way we, the LBHs think, but the WAW/WW/MLCW doesn't have to capacity to see it. It is the their selfishness fog. sandi talks about how selfish the WW is, she doesn't care about anything that doesn't make her happy. It it hard for us to understand, but she is in a very me-first place.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks Steve85. At what point do we see WAW seeing the light? This is second separation in a 4 year marriage. Honestly, WAW is not happy and just thinks leaving me will solve it.
Sometimes never. What I would say is the best way to get her to come around is to work on you. That is what detachment, validation, 180ing, GAL is all about. You. Be the best you that you can be and she will either recognize it or she won't. But you can only control you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
That is what detachment, validation, 180s, and GAL do. You tell her you don't want the divorce, that you want to work on the marriage. But you also tell her that you have to let her go if she chooses to leave. And then you detach. You validate. You 180 and GAL. Become the spouse only a fool would leave.
But whether she stays or goes is still her choice.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thank you, Steve85. Any advice from you and anyone on how tough one should be when WAW wants childsupport and other actions to test drive a divorce? How does one lovingly say, I will play along with this but what I support and not support will be be the law of the state; meaning no extra money after child support, etc...??
