Well H came home last night about 8ish, was close to me and I could smell alcohol, so he stopped to have drinks somewhere after the post office. He moved back to the lower bedroom last night.
H isn't working today..problems on his job...so he's with our S today, gave me a tip on traffic.
I had a hard time getting to sleep, not quite sure why, still working on letting go COMPLETELY. It'll come in time, it has to, God is in charge, not me. There is nothing I can do. My nature is to worry, that WORRY controls my life. That I can control my life by worrying..does that makes sense? I can think of other instances not pertaining to my H that I've done this too...obsession and worry about something that I have no control over. I'm going through this to come out on the other side and once I work through this I will then be free. To let go and let God.
Quote: His words do not match his actions.
Which makes my head spin..one minute he's making arrangements to have the lawn sprayed and the next he's telling me he's moving out.
Quote: Trust what the Lord is doing and stand your ground. Do not make the decision for him and do not throw him out.
So it's like Snodderly said he's going to be ever worse again, trying to decide. I will not throw him out, even thought it's going to be very hard. Yesterday I had just had it with his threats and called him on it.
H told me he didn't love me, that I deserved better and I agreed "yes I do deserve better" that I won't settle for not having my needs met. H just can't meet those needs, it's too late....whatever.
Quote: The Lord is working and his plans will not fail. Do not give up on the Lord. There is going to be alot that is going to happen and you are going to need to totally lean on the Lord and you are going to need to close your eyes to the circumstances that will be around you and focus totally and completely on what the Lord has told you and promised you.
Circumstances...that's exactly what they are aren't they? I can't get caught up in the drama, the circumstances will be temporary, will always be changing won't they, but God will remain there, the same. I can compare it to why I exercise, it's always there for me no matter what I'm going through my treadmill remains loyal.
Quote: Satan is filling your head with lies. Satan is trying to get you to be down on yourself. Your husband is so confused. His words do not match his actions. If he goes back with the OW, it is completely and totally out of guilt and nothing more. He has no ties to her whatsoever.
That darn Satan! I get so caught up in the moment that I forget about him, it is him that's causing this and I will NOT let this happen.
It still floors me that OW was thinking of buying the house two doors down from where we live!! H said she's going through the same thing I went through the anxiety, etc. and I said she'll get through it, I did and she will too.
H once again apologized for messing up my life. I said that's okay. H then said his is messed up too. I said it's life, life is ups and downs and I'll be fine.
Well work is calling. I'm working today and tomorrow then the rest of the week off!! Yippee!!
