Part of me feels like such a fool, a fool to have any hope of this working at all. H wants to move on, get a D, yet acts like he's not moving on. I don't get it, my head is spinning tonight. As it should be in MLC. Seem like at the BB a lot of M's are going down the drain and/or have wacky OW's in them. Desparate not wanting to live with a man woman.
A fool to the world. I know God accepts its and understands it, but I'm being laughed at behind my back by the rest of the world.
If he moves out again in with OW. I CANNOT accept it, I will not accept that again. I just can't for my own sanity.
He bought the boat and now he doesn't even want that. He wants a more expensive bass boat that he was going to buy next year anyway. He asked me why I let him buy it? If I'd have said no he wouldn't have bought it. He was like a madman looking for a boat and once he bought it he didn't want it and then of course, is blaming me...duhh light bulb.
We just refinanced the house and put a bunch of his credit cards on the new loan and now he wants to waltz out the door! There was money left over since we paid off our line of credit and he asked for that money also. I assume he used the tax money to buy his safe and he said well "I guess I didn't do I" so he used $2500 for who knows what and than wants to pay off his credit cards on top of that and then wanted more money. I'm better off with his debt.
Another thing I want out of a relationship is financial security and with my H I don't know that we can ever have that together. H cannot control his spending.
I told H he was mean to me, that's he mean to me only. I'm sure OW can do no wrong, but I'm the whipping post. I don't deserve to be treated so badly or to let him be so mean and treat me the way he treats.
So I need to decide if I want this M. If I can do this anymore. My H broke our vows and I think that makes me free to move on. I know that God hates divorce, but I don't think he says anything about not divorcing?
Oh and then he says at one point this afternoon. We should have had a brother or sister for our S?! And I'm thinking whattttt and then I would have two kids that you would have walked out on...
Everyone here thinks I'm so strong, have everything together well maybe I'm fooling everyone including myself.
