Lefty, I'm so sorry to hear this turn of events. However, I have been watching your situation very closely and I'm not surprised to hear him announce that he's moving out. I was calculating his move to be around June 1, but he's moving quicker than what I had estimated.
You have the right idea about not opening the door and pushing him out. He needs to make the decision to go himself. Listen, validate and do not argue w/him. His journey is starting to take off. He's going to be moodier and more argumentative during this confusing time of deciding whether to stay or go. Do not allow him to push your buttons, whereby you would kick him out.
In answer to your questions, replay will continue even after he moves in w/the ow. Replay will not end until his had resolved all of his childhood issues and has come to accept that he was not at fault for whatever damage was done to him as a child. The ow is a symptom of mlc. Mlc will not end until after he has reached acceptance and come back to earth. He still has replay, depression, withdrawal, and some anger to get through before acceptance is reached.
Does he get happy? The answer is he will wear a mask that will give the impression that he is happy. He will go through a stage of euphoria for a period of time after he moves in w/the ow. Once the euphoria is over, things will begin to tarnish for him. He will still be out there searching for the elusive happiness. There will come a time when he will drop the mask in front you, but I don't look for that to happen for a while. Mlc will not stall if you do not attempt to pull him out of the crisis. If you do pull him out, the mlc will stall and he will continue the crisis at a later time. That crisis will be much worse than the one he is going through now.
You should continue to focus on yourself and your son. Your son will need you now more than ever, as he is going to be very hurt and confused by all of this. Your son may even think he's to blame for his father leaving. Please reassure him otherwise.
I strongly suggest that you read HB's thread on the six stages of mlc. I have several good threads out there on mlc and childhood issues. It's now time for you to detach even more.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
