H is moving out, we're getting a D, it's over. I posted a huge long post and it "f'in disappaered! Poured my heart and soul out and it's gone.
It started out this morning when S was helping me put clothes away and pulled a dresser over on himself. H came running into the bedroom and pulled the dresser off of son and called me "f'in moron of a mom" in front of our S. I felt so bad for ours son, laying there under the dresser, S was fine. H said he was moving out. I said okay. H said again I'm moving out, I said okay.
Went shopping came back H said he was moving out, he just decided and he's moving in with OW. Well people I'm sick of hearing this, told our S3 that daddy is moving out and then S3 got all sad, thought his dad hated him and eventually S went outside to play.
And so we talked then...
He's not happy, feels he's here just for S. No feelings for me, he feels nothing, blah, blah...feelings for OW. So if he has feelings for her she could to her, what choice did he have. There was lots of crying by H and by me. H bawled at one point. He kept hoping I would agree with him and I wouldn't I said it has to be your decision, he has to decide. I didn't help at all. Other poeple are telling him this and that, I mean who are these other people anyway. Minnie I feel like my H and your H are lost brothers or something.
Said OW is pressuring him. She's depressed, won't eat, won't go out, leaves messages for him at all hours of the night. Was going to buy the house two doors down from our house behind H's back so that H could be closer to his S. I said "did she think you were going to move in with her then? H just shook his head. He's afraid she'll kill herself, I said she needs help get her to a doctor, everthing is on her, her H's death and now my H leaving her...I told H she'd get through it, she just has to deal with. She drives by our house, too which is scary I think. I said to H what if she takes our S--I mean really some people are wacky.
H keeps saying he's moving out and I keep saying fine. I told our S that his dad was moving out, S got all weepy and thought his daddy hated him. It's killing H to leave his S.
H and I were both standing in the kitchen and I looked at H and said "are you okay" I could tell H was starting to cry, I then went over and told him I was going to hug him and I didn't care if he hugged me back and he just cried, shoook. Then I started crying.
So he thinks by Ding and moving in with OW it will make him happy. H does have feelings for OW and thinks his only choice is to move out and in with OW. Even though he said he has no idea where that R is going either..
So I'm just as confused as H is at this point? I mean he acts like he wants to be here, yet says he doesn't, doesn't have feelings for me, we should never have gotten married...Minnnie...the same things your H said to you. Talked to a lawyer last week, also. Which I was kind of surprised about...so I'm going through the big D and I don't mean Dallas.
And Laurie Vinlad, you said that I would be able to tell H soon how I felt, the kind of R I wanted, that I wanted to be able to hug somebody freeling and love somebody and I told that to H today! How did you know that?
So I have no idea what to do. I'm ready to just move on, I don't know if I can take much more of this. Maybe this is the POINT where the spouse moves on and then the H returns later and it's too late. I'm so tired of this limbo. H thinks he knows what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, he keeps saying "we this" and "we that" and I told him to put me in there that he doesnt' know know my feelings.
Well enough for now. I just don't know how much longer I can go on. H doesn't know when he's moving out either. Said OW doesn't know that he's doing this or thinking of doing this.
Why are these OW's so pathetic and desparete? They play our H's for all it's worth and my H feels soo guilty. I told H to go to her, for one thing I'm scared of what she may do to our S at this point, and maybe H will be better off with her.
I also yelled at H and that he was a loser and so was she and that they both belonged together. I later apologized for it.
H told me he's sorry for screwing up my life. I just shrugged and said yeah, so what.
At this point I'm relieved that this is all ending, that H has made his decision. Maybe this is the point where he's deciding, making his decisions and doing it, like it says in one of the stages of MLC. He thinks he can maybe be happy then....that's when he started to break down and cry.
So will replay end once he moves in with OW? Does MLC end? Does he get happy? Does MLC stall? What????
