You summed it up nicely neffer. It is about loving ourselves and having that trust within us.
dusty - sounds like you've done a helluva lotta work man. Losing 70lbs, that's frikkin' awesome. The first that I noticed from the changes was how it had a direct positive impact on my kids and me also transitioning to this version of fatherhood.
I am warming up to the idea of dating and for the first time recently, I don't feel icky about it - I do feel like i am a single person now rather than the husband brain creeping up. I told myself that I would give myself one full year, which will be end of June, before I make any decisions on what's next. I needed that time with myself to figure out so many things and do a full autopsy of life and MR to give me a clear picture of what I should do next. I believe I am getting there now.
Just like your XW, everything wrong was thrown at my feet and W didn't take accountability for anything. It did take me a while to really parse through her complaints and realize that 80% of those were not my fault and it was her own undoing and challenges. The 20% where I went wrong, I owned up to it and started improving myself diligently. I know she hasn't done the same. I wish that she would, but it's not my issue.
I am super grateful to this community and the resources. I don't think I would've been at this place without it. I am looking forward to the Brown TED stuff and the books.
