Dusty - that's awesome. Such a breakthrough to be able to be comfortable in your own skin around W. I know it's hard as I've been on the same journey. Kudos man!
Thanks for the author recommendation. I will check it out. I've had a realization lately about self-worth that I'd like to share. A while back I made a list of my failures in the MR, as W reported to me, and others that I considered failures. I then put all of them in context of how I was feeling during those times and what life circumstances were. I realized that for many of them I did the best I could with what I had. If I had sought help for my depression earlier on, I would've probably corrected many failures. But lesson learned and IC has been a savior.
On the other side, i also wrote down honestly what my good qualities were. And I was hella happy with what I believe are awesome things that I bring as a person. And I realized that those are things that are attractive to other people, and would be to women. So, I knew at that point that I could be a great friend, partner, father, etc etc.
Doing this exercise, coupled with having some fun harmless interactions with some women and other people, I realized that I wasn't imagining those good qualities about me, and that i truly had them.
So, I went from believing that I was worthy, to trusting myself that I was worthy. That simple distinction is huge. Working on believing meant that I had to constantly, even subconsciously, find evidence that my belief about myself was true. When I switched to trusting my self and that I was worthy, it took my self-worth and self-esteem to a different level. I am no longer trying to prove to others, but more importantly, to myself that I am worthy. I know that I am.
IC has helped me with vulnerability and shame and those are key issues to work through. I am glad your IC is doing that with you. But, try and move from belief to trust. It's like a burden just got off my shoulders. Also, it is giving me natural confidence and honestly, it's exhilarating. I no longer need other people to validate my beliefs about myself. I trust myself and am introspective enough to know that I am not fooling myself.
