Want to give another update to you all. I am implementing the LRT. No pursuit. I am GAL. Last night I went for a run and hung out with my mom. Not all MR talk either. Mainly explaining my mindset and and the LRT.
I got home at about 930 pm and WAW was sitting on the couch. I took a shower and went to bed. Didn't go back to her to talk. Had to get some shoes out of our master closet this am, and she asked me if I got her text. I hadn't seen it and said no. She didn't hear and asked why I was ignoring her. So I restated no, I'm just getting shoes and she asked about car keys. I answered briefly and shut the door as I did.
My mindset is definitely to get off of what doesn't work and to ease off the pressure. I am GAL every day. I may talk to her folks, but just to let them know what I'm doing (maybe not a good idea). I'd prefer they contact me though, so maybe it'll be a while before I have contact with them.
I am heading back out of town this weekend for some fun and fishing. I'm hoping her mental journey brings her back, but learning to give up trying to control that. My sister and marriage counselor have been big on helping me get my mind wrapped around my controlling tendencies.
Thanks to you all too. I know it tooK a bit of reading and rereading to absorb some info.
My only advice is to be careful to not be passive aggressive. Ignoring her, not giving her your full attention when she speaks, etc is not detachment. Detachment is listening. Validating. Listening. Validating. It gets monotonous. If you are bored while she is talking then you are probably doing it right, but don't let it show.
For those of us that have struggled with Nice Guy Syndrome in the past, it can be difficult to validate in non-passive aggressive ways. But to do detachment and validation right you have to avoid that at all costs.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
