Good Morning all,

Yep droping the rope, detaching..the old M is dead. My H is depressed.

H is living at home, sleeping in my bed, and that's about it. No affection for me, no love, just existing side by side.

My needs have not been met in such a long time, no hugs, no kisses, no real affection except from my S. Even when H and I it's just sex, no affection. I need more than that, want more than that in my life. I want to be special to someone, I want hugs, I want to be able to hug my H and get a hug back. Why should I settle for less? I denied for so long that I needed affection, that I could live without affection, that I wasn't an affectionate person. Well guess what, I am an affectionate person and I want affection. I want that in my life and if H can't provide that then why am I with him? I want to let loose and love my H or someone the way they should be loved. I want that same love back. I've always held back and now I don't want to, life's too short.

This all came to me in the last 24 hours. I've been searching for love for so long, but denying it at the same time, pushing it away most of my life. Even when I had it right in front of me, I pushed it away and denied it.

I want to be loved and I want to love back, openly and freely. For the first time I am admitting this to myself and sharing my good news, one of MY needs, one of MY love languages, with all my wonderful BB friends.

Do I share this need with my depressed H? Do I let him know now that this is what I need in a R/M or do I wait until the time is right?

Cathy